In Your Eyes there was a Freedom
by Halawen
Summary: Clare has been kidnapped into a human trafficking ring where she finds Fitz who's been there for a year. Facing the darkest time in their lives they must rely on each other for solace, strength and the last shard of hope for escape or rescue. WARNING DARK FIC! Please read with caution! A/U story obviously.
1. I Was the Last thing You Ever Wanted

**Legal: I own nothing but the idea.**

**WARNING!**** This is a dark fic about human trafficking! Possible trigger warnings! This story deals with human trafficking including abuse, rape, forced prostitution, kidnapping and false imprisonment. In no way do I condone any of these things. **

**Please read with caution, if you do not like dark subject matter or intense fics, if you cannot read the intense parts of Ghosts of Who We Were then this fic is not for you and you should not read it!**

**This fic starts right after Ray of Light.**

**Ch.1 I Was the Last thing You Ever Wanted**

**(CLARE)**

Making it through today wasn't easy, after watching Eli run through the school naked yesterday and say some very hurtful things this morning I was practically in tears all day. Alli, Jenna and Adam supported me and helped me get through the day but I left on my spare period. Now I was home in my room, I made a play list of sad songs and put it on as I opened my laptop. I needed to get out what I was feeling, everything I was feeling and the best way to do that for me is to write. So I just start writing, I write about dating someone that's bipolar, about watching them take drugs and run though the school hugging the principal naked. Most of all I write about the pain of the breakup, how it hurts to think that someone is all in and then break down without even being able to talk to you. I write for hours, I don't stop to eat or barely get up to use the washroom. When I'm done I put it out on a public blog site under a pseudonym and then I fall into bed falling asleep.

I sleep all through the night and wake up while not exactly happy I feel a sense of relief. Writing last night and getting everything off my chest was therapeutic. It's early but I'd rather not face my family right now and have my mom tell me she knew Eli was no good for me. I didn't want Jake's fake pity or Glen trying to find the balance between supportive and too involved for his comfort. I got dressed and left for school, which wasn't open yet so I go to The Dot and order some breakfast, I eat while checking my e-mail on my phone. I have one from Adam, one from Jenna, and one from Alli checking in and making sure I was okay. Some ads and spam, a couple newsletters I subscribe to and one from an address I don't recognize. It's a response to my blog though so I open it, the man says he's a publisher and he really liked my article, he encourages me to write more. He thinks I could even turn my experiences into a book. I'm excited but not stupid, I know better than to trust the word of a random guy online, especially after what happened to Darcy, so I look him up by searching the name on the e-mail.

Typing Charles Thomas Walker yields me hundreds of results so I narrow them by putting in Vancouver where he says he works. Hundreds gets narrowed down to about a dozen, he has a few news articles about him including a couple of business magazine articles and a Wikipedia page. He's a publisher at a small time publishing company in Vancouver, his company publishes a lot of independent and small time authors and a couple literature and art magazines. After researching the guy for over an hour I decide he's legitimate and write back with excitement that his help would be appreciated and I'd love to turn it all into a book. It's almost time for school now so I put away my phone and rush to school but I'm happy and really excited.

"You look much happier than I was expecting," Adam comments when I rush into class and sit at my desk.

"I wrote this blog all about me and Eli and dating someone who was bipolar, I put it on a site and a publisher contacted me this morning. He liked it and he wants me to write more, he thinks I can turn it into a book," I inform Adam with a grin.

"Clare," Adam admonishes with a disapproving look.

"Don't Clare me I'm not stupid I researched the guy Adam, I spent an hour looking him up online it's all legit," I assure Adam.

"I'm double checking at lunch," Adam says.

"Fine but I'm telling you he's the real deal," I reply while Miss Dawes calls the class to attention.

When morning classes are over Adam and I go to the resource center for lunch. I show him the e-mail and everything I found online, Adam spends all of lunch reading everything I did, he even traces the e-mail and calls the company asking the secretary questions about Mr. Walker.

"Okay he's real and I'm happy for you," Adam says when he's done.

"Thanks Adam," I smile and kiss his cheek. "Don't tell anyone okay? I just don't want to have people thinking I'm going to publish a book or even have a short series in a magazine until it happens. After getting so excited about my article with Asher I just want to be cautious," I tell Adam.

"Cautious is good and I won't say anything," he smiles.

For the next two weeks while Eli distracts himself with his movie and Adam spends all his free time with Becky I throw myself into writing. With help from Charles I start to compile my entire relationship with Eli into a book, based on fact but I changed our names. I spend every spare minute writing and exchanging E-mails with Charles. I nearly forget about the fact that I was going to run for student council president and it doesn't even bother me that Drew is running. Okay so our first day of debates was irritating and I ignore the fact that he's Adam's brother and called him a few rude things. I come home after debates to find a new e-mail from Charles.

**Clare I had to come to Toronto for business I thought we might meet for dinner tonight and discuss your book. I was thinking Origin at six, text me if you can make it; I have to fly back to Vancouver in the morning. **

He includes his phone number and I'm about to text him back when I receive a text from Adam.

**Adam Torres: I'm trying to stay out of it but Drew is hosting a party at our house to get votes.**

**Clare: I'll try to swing by and yell at him but I have other plans.**

**Adam Torres: I'm taking Becky out so I won't be home just don't yell at him too much.**

I text Charles back that I'll be there, put my phone on my desk and go into the washroom to shower, I'm sure a party at the Torres house, even on a school night, will go until ten or elven, so I'll go to dinner first. I change into something business professional and take the truck, Jake is in his room listening to music but he knows if the truck is gone I have it. I drive downtown and park at Origin just as I'm getting out of the truck I get a text from Charles that Origin is totally booked and he's made reservations down the street at Mirto. I start walking in that direction while texting him back that I'll be there, I'm walking past an alley when without warning I'm grabbed! I try to scream but my mouth is covered and I feel a prick on my arm, I'm injected with something, I feel dizzy, heavy and then it all goes black…

**(ADAM)**

"Hey Adam have you seen Clare this morning?" Jake asks coming over to me while I stash books in my locker.

"No why?" I question.

"She took the truck last night but never came home, her mom doesn't know yet I told Helen Clare left early," Jake tells me.

"Clare said she might go to the party Drew was throwing last night at our place to garner votes for himself. He may have said something without thinking and upset her," I reply.

"Awesome, no offense but your brother can be a real jerk sometimes," Jake remarks.

"Yeah I know," I sigh. I love my brother and he's a great brother but he often talks or acts before he thinks, he feels badly about it instantly but he gets into trouble that way all the time. I start walking to find my brother and Jake follows me, Drew is with Dallas, Owen and Bianca in the hallway. "Drew what did you say to Clare?!" I snap at him cutting Owen off mid-sentence and they all look at me.

"What are you talking about?" Drew questions slowly with his eyebrows furrowed together.

"Last night at the party when she came to yell at you what di…"

"Adam," Dallas cuts me off, "Clare never showed up at the party."

Jake and I exchange a worried look, if my brother didn't upset her then where is she?

"Did she tell you where she was going last night?" I ask Jake.

"Clare doesn't really tell me anything anymore, I'm going to call her dad maybe she slept there," Jake says taking out his phone.

"Have either of you tried calling her cell?" Bianca questions.

"Yes Bianca that was the first thing I did when I saw the truck was gone this morning and her bed hadn't been slept in," Jake responds curtly as he scrolls through his numbers to find her dad's. "Clare's phone went straight to voicemail it's off," Jake tells us before speaking into his phone.

"If the battery's still in I can track it," I comment getting my laptop out of my backpack.

"Her dad hasn't seen or heard from her in months, he was no help at all," Jake says putting his phone in his pocket.

"Her phone's not traceable, either she's somewhere beyond cell signal or the battery has been taken out," I tell Jake and close my laptop again. "I'll check with Eli, it's unlikely but possible that he wanted to talk and they met up," I remark.

"I'll check with Alli and Jenna see if they…" Jake is saying when his phone rings and he scrunches his face at the number. "Hello…yes…where was it…okay," Jake says hanging up and looking at me but he's gone kind of pale.

"The truck was impounded, left in a lot downtown overnight, Adam…" Jake stops talking but I know what he's going to say.

"You want a lift downtown to get your truck? We can look for Clare," Owen offers Jake and he just kind of nods.

"Let me know if you find anything," I request and Jake nods again.

"I'll call Helen and my dad on the way," Jake tells me.

"Adam we'd better go tell Mr. S," Bianca points out.

"Yeah," I nod but my heart has sunk, my chest is tight and there's a pit in my stomach the size of the Grand Canyon, something has happened to Clare, something bad and I fear that I may never see her again. My brother and Bianca come with me to Simpson's office, although I'm fairly certain they're here for my support more than anything else because they really don't know Clare. We walk straight past the secretary and barge into Simpson's office. He's on the phone and looks at us, slightly angry but also curious.

"I'll call you back," Simpson says hanging up the phone. "What is it Adam?" Simpson asks.

"Clare's missing Sir, her phone can't be traced, she took Jake's truck and it got impounded because it was left in a lot overnight. Jake is calling Helen and Owen is taking him to get his truck and look for Clare but n…"

"Adam slow down," Simpson cuts me off and presses his intercom button. "Victoria get me Officer Turner on the phone and Helen Martin," Simpson tells his secretary.

I tell Simpson everything I know, which isn't much only that Clare said she had plans and might drop by the party to yell at Drew. Then Jake showed up this morning saying the truck was still gone and Clare hadn't been home. Jake calls to tell us that he got the truck but they don't see Clare anywhere, Helen calls in a panic and then Dave's dad arrives with a couple detectives. Drew and Bianca are excused to class while I stay in Simpson's office to speak with Officer Turner and the detectives.

"Has Clare been depressed lately?" Officer Turner asks me.

"No, she'd been happy and talking about the future. I haven't spent a whole lot of time with her lately, it's just I've been busy with Becky a…"

"It's okay Adam you're not under suspicion we're trying to find out about Clare's life recently to find out where she may have gone or who might have taken her," Officer Turner tells me.

"Taken?" I say slowly, I knew it was a possibility in the back of my mind but hearing it said out loud sends a shiver down my spine and I feel ill.

"Was there anyone new in Clare's life recently?" One of the detectives asks me.

"No, no one new, Clare hasn't been out much she's been writing f…wait," the realization hits me like a ton of bricks, "Charles…something, Charles Walker. He was a publisher; he contacted Clare and said he was going to help her write a book. I was worried about the guy but she said she'd done research she even showed me what she found. I looked at everything, I even called the company and spoke to his secretary everything looked legit."

"We'll want to check him out anyway, you said Charles Walker?" Officer Turner inquires.

"Yeah, I'll show you," I nod getting out my laptop while the detective writes something down in his notepad.

I search for Charles Walker again and get way too many results but none of the pages I remember seeing before. I search for Charles Walker publisher and nothing comes up. I remember that his full name was Charles Thomas Walker, I type that in and get several results but none are the ones I'm looking for, none of them are the publisher or the pages I remember seeing. I try a dozen searches but everything I saw before, every page I saw on the guy is totally gone, the company website, the articles, blogs all of it is gone.

"It's gone…it's all gone, there were a dozen pages, a company website I saw them all and now they're gone," I tell them in a fast voice as my fear turns to panic! I get out my phone scrolling through my phone log, back to the Tuesday morning before last and find the number I called that was supposed to be this guy's office. I call it again but the number's been disconnected. "She's gone, I checked him out, I called his office he seemed legit but it's all gone and so is she," I rant as tears crowd into my eyes and burst out, I put my arms on Simpson's desk and my head on my arms.

"Did you just try his office again?" Officer Turner asks me and I nod. Someone takes my phone to get the number and then sets my phone down by me.

"We'll need to talk to Clare's other friends, we already have officers at her house and we'll take her laptop as evidence," says a detective.

"We'll coordinate a search and they're putting up an amber alert," the other detective tells Simpson.

"We'll help in any way we can, what about the kids? What do I tell them? Should I tell them?" Principal Simpson questions the officers.

"It's best if you call an assembly and tell the school all at once. Otherwise they'll find out through the media, control the assembly tell them they can help with the search it will make them feel like they're helping and not powerless. We'll be at the assembly and tell anyone that might have information to speak with us."

"Adam I can call your mom so she can take you home," Simpson offers.

"No I want to go to Clare's house, I can help, I need to find her," I say resolutely as I look up and Simpson nods.

"I'll take you over Adam, I'm sure her family would be happy for the help," Officer Turner offers.

I nod and start putting my laptop in my backpack again while Simpson stands up and walks out to the secretary's desk. Next I hear the tone that means the school wide intercom has come on.

"Attention DeGrassi students and staff please report to the auditorium for an emergency assembly."

"Sir," I speak up when he's turned off the intercom, "we better tell Eli alone."

Simpson nods and turns the intercom back on, "Eli Goldsworthy come to my office."

I hear students walking and filing out of their classrooms; I grab my stuff and wait by the front doors until I see Eli.

"Eli," I call to him and he stops.

"Simpson wants to see me, what's the assembly about?" Eli asks.

"It's about Clare," I inform him and Eli freezes going a little pale, "she's missing Eli, she was kidnapped!"

**(CLARE)**

It's dark, it's cold and dark. For a brief moment I think I'm dead it's the feeling of pain that tells me I'm not dead however. I'm on a bed, it's not very comfortable and sort of dirty but that's not why I'm in pain. My ankles are tied by ropes, my eyes begin to open and adjust to the dim lighting in the room. All I see are gray walls and a small lamp on the floor. The ropes used to tie my ankles are tied to chains that are suspended from the ceiling. I'm still groggy, my mind in a fog but I realize not only am I naked but I've been raped! I feel it now, the searing pain down there, the overwhelming soreness in my hips and groin. I've never ever had sex or really done anything but make out but I know that's what I'm feeling because I just know.

My groggy fog starts to fade, I remember now, going to meet Charles and then getting grabbed. He was fake, it was a trap, after all the research I did and Adam did it was still a trap and I fell right into it! I realize I will probably never see my family or friends again, I don't panic but instead sink into despair, my heart gets tight and then feels like it stops and sinks. A giant pit forms in my stomach and then becomes heavy and ties in knots. I become simply overwhelmed with a completely hopeless feeling. I'm not crying, it's like I can't, I close my eyes once more and wish desperately that I could see my family and friends again. Then I hear footsteps, heavy footsteps of a large man and I open my eyes. I try to sit up and move the urge to try and flee kicks in but it's now that I realize my hands are also restrained. I have leather straps on my wrists and they're bound to the bed somehow.

"Good morning Cinnamon."

I look up to see my captor, he's large not fat just big and muscular, like Owen only bigger. His dark dirty blonde hair is cropped short; he has dark eyes and a darker expression. He's smiling but it's the most sadistically dark smile I've ever seen. He's dressed in jeans and black t-shirt, has a thick neck and stubble on his chin, his chin is square and his high cheek bones are prominent. If he didn't look so grossly and maliciously evil he would be attractive. He looks pleased but in such a creepy way it sends a shiver up my spine and just being in his presence makes me sick.

"That's your name now, Cinnamon like the color of your hair," he tells me. His voice is gravely and husky. "Now that you're awake let's really initiate you, it's a lot more fun when you're awake. Of course some people," he comments walking to the bed and beginning to take down his pants, "pay to have you totally unconscious so they can fuck you and just have you lie there. And other's well they like to hear you in pain."

He has his pants and boxers down a little and he crawls under my leg getting on his knees between my legs. He's holding himself and gets out a condom, putting it on which I suppose is comforting in a way but I don't feel any solace in this. It only reinforces that I'm a prisoner, my life is now about being a sex slave. His hand presses into the mattress at my side as he leans forward ready to rape me!

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I scream and spit at him.

He looks angry for a second and then almost amused, "You know I had a feeling you were a fighter. Two weeks of constant correspondence I knew you were a fighter." He says all this while grinning and then punches me right at the temple, I get dizzy and before I can recover he backhands me, I bite the inside of my lip and taste blood. "That will be the first thing we take from you, well I guess the second, don't get virgins too often anymore," he remarks and then shoves himself into me, penetrating with a brutal force and I scream! It burns like being impaled on a red hot metal spear. He starts to pull out and I let out a breath, the tears come now, streaming from the corners of my eyes, down my cheeks. "We'll fuck it out of you," he tells me and pushes in again causing me to scream again, "or we'll be it out of you," he says pulling out again and I take the breath while I can, "but you will stop fighting."

"LET ME GO!" I scream as he pushes in again.

"You're a mouthy one, lets shut you up," he says stopping for a moment and reaching to the side he gets a ball gag. I shake my head but he manages to get the gag on. I start choking, the ball in my mouth forcing me to salivate.

While my captor, or one of them anyway as he kept saying we so I know there's more than one, finishes his assault all I can do is make strangled cries of pain into the gag. It feels like it lasts forever and all I feel is pain. At first I try to think of my family and friends, holding out any hope that I'll see them again but it makes things worse. So I stop and just try to disappear and it starts to work. My mind takes me away, it's like I'm floating outside of my body, distancing myself from the pain and the shame until it finally stops.

**(FITZ)**

I hear a new girl screaming; I know it's a new girl because only the new ones scream and only girls have that much of a high pitch. You can hear everything down here, the cement only blocks out things above and around but in this part of our latest dungeon you can hear everything. There were fifteen of us but two months ago one of the guys was killed, beaten to death on a job. Then a few weeks after that one of the girls tried to get away and they killed her, a second girl got sick real bad, caught a virus and they killed her to keep her from getting us sick, killing is how they deal with problems. When we got down to twelve I knew they'd start looking for new people, fresh meat to train and break like they were doing right now to the new girl.

After a year of this life hearing those sounds doesn't even make me sick anymore. It's like when I used to hear the birds in the morning or even my parents yelling, it's all just noise now. I lean back against the pillow sinking down so my head doesn't hit the cement wall. I'm trusted because I'm a veteran now; I've been with this group the whole time because I learned fast. I get certain privileges because they trust me. Not like the privileges make this life good or even bearable but they make it so it's not entirely horrendous. Things like I get a pillow, a larger cell and an actual bed, not just a mattress on the floor. I even get books, I read a lot, it kills time between jobs. Jobs is the nice way of saying they sold me to someone for an hour or two, sometimes a whole night but those are rare.

The sounds of the squeaking bedsprings and muffled screaming finally stop, they're done with her but only for now. I hear the sounds of a struggle, the girl thinks she can get away; she still has hope, that will fade fast. Then I hear the sound of her getting hit hard and Vollstrecker is angry. It's not his real name, it's some code name, they all have them, I think it's German. Most of the people running this ring seem to be from Europe, I've seen a lot of the merchandise, that would be kids like me, get traded to another ring in another country usually European but I've seen Asian guys and even some from South Africa.

The door to the breaking room opens and Vollstrecker comes out carrying an unconscious girl. She's probably been drugged again but he beat her too, she's naked of course, clothes are earned around here it's another way for them to break you and strip away your dignity. I don't pay much attention until something catches my eye, medium brown ringlet curls and an abstinence ring on her finger.

"_No no no no no no no! Please not her, anyone but her! Not that I would ever wish such a life on any other person but Clare!? This life will kill her, she can't survive this, it will take everything from her. No not Clare! Why? How can that be Clare!" _

My heart starts to pound just at the sight of her, for the first time in months I panic. I haven't felt this kind of panic since I woke up in the breaking room. Of course that was a different dungeon, we were in Calgary then, we're outside of Montreal now, we move every few months, before local law enforcement catches on. I remember the fear I felt waking up in that room, how hard the first days were, how so much of me was broken in so many ways. The fact that Clare is here is heartbreaking, I would give anything for her not to have this life.

Konigin comes from her office, she's the head of this ring and it's another code name. She's in her early thirties and has a thick European accent. She looks at Clare and smiles, saying something in a low voice in German to Vollstrecker.

"She's a fighter," Vollstrecker tells Konigin.

"She was a virgin too, put her in the hole, a few days of getting raped in the dark should take the fight out of her," Konigin tells him.

"No wait," I call getting up from the bed and running to the bars on my cell.

"You have something to say Cross?" Konigin questions strolling over to me, my hands grip the bars and she runs her fingers over my knuckles.

"Put her in with me, I know her I can help her, teach how it works here. She won't stop fighting, she's stubborn put her in with me I can keep her from fighting," I insist but I don't plead or beg because they won't respond to that they think pleading is funny and a sign of weakness.

Konigin smiles taking her keys off her belt and opens the cell door, "She's your responsibility, you teach her, you train her, if she fights again then you will be punished for not doing your part as a trainer and she will be punished for not listening."

"I understand," I nod as Vollstrecker carries Clare in and puts her on my bed.

I go to the bed and they lock me in the cell again. Sitting on the bed next to Clare I cover her with my blanket, checking her eyes I know she's drugged. It'll be hours before she wakes up so I get in the bed with her and hold her, watching her sleep and hoping she's at peace, because drugged sleep is the only peace she'll have for a long time. After several hours Clare starts to stir, I stroke her arm gently and brush a curl from her face, Clare's eyes open, she looks at me and I see the recognition in her eyes.

"Fitz?" She questions in a weak voice.

"Yeah it's me, I'm sorry you're here, I would give anything for you not to be here," I tell her.

She looks at me, her eyes blinking under the lights so I shade her eyes with my hand. I see the tears flooding her eyes; her body starts to shake as her tears break free. She reaches out and I take her hand in mine, she grips tightly, holding me as her lifeline. She cries a couple of minutes and then it slows, her eyes opening again and locking onto mine.

"Fitz how did you get here?"

**Update Thursday October 30****th**** from right here with Fitz telling Clare how he got there and the search for Clare continues.**


	2. The Pastures of Our Minds

**You should know this from the whole theme of this story but this chapter is not light and happy. Especially near the end it deals with some dark stuff although nothing gets super intense this chapter still read with caution.**

**Ch. 2 The Pastures of Our Minds**

**(FITZ)**

"Fitz how did you get here?" Clare asks her hand gripping mine and the tears of pain in fear in her eyes break my heart.

"After I came to your house that day during the storm I got a lecture from Father Greg telling me to move on and let you go. I didn't have you, I didn't have my old friends and I didn't have any new ones yet. I had just started going to a church in my neighborhood but I didn't have any friends yet. So I started looking online, I went to this chat room for Christian teenagers. I met a guy on there who said his name was Greg, I guess it made me think of Father Greg, anyway we started talking daily. All the spare time I had I was talking with him about everything really. I felt like I had found a good friend and someone that understood me I had felt so alone and now I had a friend. He told me about a mission trip to Mexico and said if I was interested there would be a meeting in Ottawa next weekend and he would be there. I never even thought twice about it, I figured he was Christian and I'd be meeting a lot of other people like me. I was looking forward to meeting Greg and thought I'd sign up for this mission trip and come home and quit my job. I could go do some good for other people and maybe forget about you," I confess.

"I'm sorry Fitz I didn't m…" she starts to apologize in tears and I cut her off.

"You didn't do anything Clare, I was trying too hard to get you away from Eli and be with me. I didn't end up here because of you, I should have been more careful and less trusting. I went to Ottawa and the hotel Greg said he was staying at, he even left me a room key at the desk. When I went up to my room is when I knew something wasn't right, the guy was in his 30's and before I could leave he drugged me. I woke up in a trunk, bound and gagged, they brought me to a place similar to this and kept me chained to a bed for the first 3 days. They move around a lot and the first thing they do is strip away everything that you were. They give you a new name and don't let you wear clothes, th…" I stop when Clare starts crying harder, gripping my hand so tight I'm starting to lose circulation. "I'll keep them from hurting you as much as I can, I've been here a long time they trust me," I assure her.

"You've been here for over a year, I won't survive a year Fitz! That man raped me a…"

She's nearly hysterical, which is understandable but when people get hysterical they take them to be punished. So I silence her but putting my hand on her mouth.

"Shh they will find any reason to punish you Clare, the more discipline you show the faster you earn their trust. I would give anything for you not to be here but I will do everything I can to protect you here. I'll keep you from as much of the torment and pain as I possibly can. If you cry or fight or beg they will punish you, they have dozens of ways to punish you and all of them are painful and humiliating and they will keep punishing you until they break you or kill you. You are expendable to them Clare, if they kill you they'll get someone else. They prey on teenagers and college kids who feel isolated and alone, they are good at it, they earn their trust and lure them away and then kidnap them. I swear to you I will do everything I can to protect you in here and that I will find a way to get us out of here but you'll have to trust me and do everything I say, can you do that?"

She nods and shuts her eyes tight as tears flood them, I take my hand off her mouth and move a little so I can hold her better. I hold her close, stroking her arm through the blanket, her tears soaking my grey hoodie. She's keeping her tears pretty silent and I move the blanket up to make it look like she's sleeping.

"Fitz," she says my name softly after wiping her tears away, "do you really think we can get out of here? Have you tried to escape before?"

"If we work together and you earn their trust then maybe, it won't be easy. I haven't tried escaping before but I never had a reason to. I knew no one was looking for me, I didn't think anyone noticed or cared that I was gone," I admit and her lip starts to tremble again as her eyes become filled with guilt. "Clare don't it's not your fault, we were barely friends and I'd lost the ones I had. I never had a reason to get out of here before but now I do," I tell her.

"I did notice when you weren't at The Dot anymore but I thought you ran away," she confesses.

"I'm sure most people did, those are the kind of kids they prey on so I really didn't think you'd end up here. They don't usually take kids too many people will miss," I comment and she bites her lip a look of regret in her eye. "How did you end up here?" I question.

She sits up keeping my blanket wrapped around her, she leans against the wall and I put the pillow behind her. She looks at her hands, rolling her lower lip between her teeth I guess trying to decide where to begin.

"Eli and I had one of our epic breakups and I wrote about our relationship and dating someone bipolar then I put it online. I got contacted by a guy that said he was a publisher, he was interested and thought I could turn it into a book. I checked him out before replying, I'm not stupid but there were websites with him in it, articles, a company website too. Even Adam checked him out, he called the guys office and everything we both thought the guy was totally legitimate. I spent a couple of weeks talking to him and he was helping me with what I thought would be a published book. Then he said he was coming to Toronto, he'd only be there for the night. We never spoke we only communicated through e-mail I never thought…" she pause for a minute her crystal blue eyes flashing so many emotions. I see anger, shame, regret and fear all in the few seconds she stops for a breath and then she continues. "When I got to the restaurant I got a text that the restaurant was booked and to meet him down the street. I started walking there and sending a text back and then I was grabbed and injected with something and woke up here tied to the bed."

She finishes and hides her face in my chest as she begins sobbing again. I put my arm around her and begin thinking about how we can possibly get out of here without getting killed. It didn't take long for me to begin losing my faith after I was taken; it was far worse than juvie where I had found my faith, and with every beating, every rape, every disgusting thing I had to do or was done to me with these people I lost a little more faith. I was angry at God, questioning why this would happen to me after turning my life around, how I could end up here. Now, whether it was God's plan or not, I was here and so was Clare and if I wasn't here she would never survive this and I was going to get us both out of here, and I'm happy she's not here alone. I hold Clare a little tighter, close my eyes and say a silent prayer that we'll both make it out of here alive.

**(BIANCA)**

I sit down in my math class wondering where Clare is, she doesn't seem like the type to just take off. If she was going to ditch or something she still would have told Adam, I think anyway.

"Attention DeGrassi students and staff please report to the auditorium for an emergency assembly." The announcement rings over the intercom interrupting the teacher. He tells us to exit in an orderly fashion and we begin to file out to the hallway, making our way to the auditorium with the rest of the school. Drew comes out of his English class and pulls me aside.

"Just got a text from Adam they think Clare was taken," Drew whispers to me so no one else overhears, "he and Eli are headed to her house with the cops."

"Fuck," I breathe out, it's all I can say, it's all I can think. Drew puts his arm around me and we start walking into the auditorium with everyone else, Simpson is on stage with two people in suits I don't recognize. This eerie feeling of familiar dread begins to creep over me, it was a little over a year ago that Fitz disappeared. Most people thought he ran or got killed in a fight but me and Owen always thought it was weird. Not that we had really talked to him since he'd returned from juvie but we knew he'd found religion, still had a crush on Clare and he had a job, it just didn't make sense. The pit in my stomach is so big I feel like it's going to swallow me by the time we sit down in the bleachers.

"Everyone settle down please," Simpson says into the mike. "I'm sorry for the interruption of classes but it's my sad duty to tell you that one of your classmates is missing and we believe she was kidnapped," Simpson announces and everyone gasps and then the whispering begins. "Clare Edwards is the missing student, I wanted you to hear it from me and not over the news," more gasps in the auditorium and I see Jenna, Alli and a few other kids that are friends with Clare go pale but Simpson is still talking. "These detectives will want to speak with all of Clare's friends. Please respect the privacy of the family but if you think you have useful information you can contact myself or Officer Turner. A search is being organized and if you'd like to help sign up at the front office. Classes are being dismissed for the rest of the day," Simpson tells the school.

I hear a few people that are just glad that school is out for the day but most people are worried about Clare. Some look horrified or ill, a few are even crying and I find that I'm squeezing Drew's hand tightly. I know Clare a little, we drove up to her cabin together last summer and she's at the Torres house a lot like I am. She's also Adam's best friend and I'm sure he's going through hell right now worried about what happened to her.

"We should go to Clare's house, we should be there for Adam and see if we can help," I say to Drew in a quiet voice.

Drew nods and we get up, people are talking and whispering, Clare's friends are huddled together, crying and talking in low voices, probably talking about the last time they saw her. Drew and I leave quietly and get in my car driving to Clare's house. There's four cop cars, Jake's truck, Owen's car, Glen's truck and what I'm assuming is Helen's car. We go inside and Helen is crying on the sofa and trying to talk to an officer. Glen is holding her, he looks helpless and guilty, I guess he's thinking he should have done something. I can hear Jake upstairs with Officer Turner, Drew hears it too and we go upstairs. Everyone is in Clare's room, her room looks so normal, bright colors and posters on the wall, her desk has neatly stacked papers and her bookshelf is overflowing with books. Officer Turner is speaking to Adam, Eli and Jake while Owen stands awkwardly in one corner. I'm guessing Owen's only here because he took Jake downtown and didn't want to go back to school. He doesn't know Clare at all but I can see he's worried. Drew goes over to sit with his brother for support and I go stand with Owen.

"What happened when you went to get the truck?" I whisper to Owen.

"We picked it up from the impound lot and they told us where they found it, parked in the lot for Origin. We beat on the door and asked if anyone had seen Clare but they said they hadn't. We found her cell phone all smashed in the alley behind it and the battery was taken out, so was the SIM card. She was snatched B and I have a bad feeling," Owen whispers to me.

"Me too, I know one probably has nothing to do with the other but it reminds a little of when Fitz went missing last year," I comment and Owen nods.

"We have officers canvasing downtown and an amber alert is out. Her laptop has been sent to computer forensics, a search is being organized we're doing everything we can Adam," Officer Turner assures the nearly hysterical boy.

"I checked, I looked at all the websites, I called the guy's office. She should have told me she was going to meet him, I would have stopped her, I would have gone with her," Adam says crying and Drew hugs his brother.

"This isn't your fault Adam," Officer Turner assures him.

"No it's mine, if I'd never broken up with her, taken drugs a…"

"No Eli," Officer Turner cuts him off, "it's no one's fault. Clare was preyed on by people that knew what they were doing. We're using every available resource to find her."

Adam nods while I wonder what the chances of finding Clare alive will be. I guess we all must be picturing what Clare might be going through right now and wondering who took her.

**(FITZ)**

Clare stops crying after a few minutes and I pull her up gently to look at me. I wipe the tears from her eyes and keeping my arm around her.

"I swear to you I will find a way to get us out of this place but you're going to have to learn some things and fast," I tell her in a soft voice so no one else hears. "I wish I could keep you from getting hurt or raped again but I can't, I'll prevent it as much as I can. Behave and do as they say, earn their trust and I'll work on getting us away from this life."

"How?" Clare questions.

"I don't know yet but I've been here longer than most and I learned fast so they trust me and I get privileges. They'll spend the next week breaking you in, raping you and teaching you to be quiet and sound like you're enjoying it if necessary. They'll teach you how to give head and train you how to talk and behave, the faster you learn the better. Stay silent and go somewhere in your head," I instruct her.

"Where?" She questions.

"Anywhere, where ever your favorite place is, a warm sunny beach, a river in a peaceful forest, anywhere there isn't here. Close your eyes and see it in your mind, when you're being raped or hurt at all go there," I say and she nods closing her eyes and then opening them again.

"Do you have a place?" She queries.

"Yeah this spot near the ravine where Owen, B and I used to hang out. Now see that place in your mind," I say and she closes her eyes again, "When they take you on a job do the same, play along with whatever the guy, or girls but it's usually a guy, whatever their fantasy is a…"

"Are you sold to guys?" She inquires cutting me off.

"Yeah, some women too but mostly men and they're all gross," I nod.

"How can they do this? Don't the clients know this is a human trafficking ring?" Clare asks.

"Yeah they know, a lot of the clients are regulars, people that have been clients for more than a year. A lot are at least moderately successful business people. They're people with sick sexual appetites, I'm not sure how they find us but none of the clients will help you. A few months ago a girl tried to get help from one of her regulars, he told Konigin and she had the girl beaten to death," I tell Clare and her eyes fill with tears again. "When you're with the clients pretend to be whatever they're looking for, use whatever acting skills you have, no matter how it disgusts you. If you try to fight or run you'll be punished and if you try again you'll be killed. We get two small meals a day, they aren't very good but you'll need the food. We shower a lot; they want us to be clean, once in the morning and once at night and after any job. They check out all the clients and make sure they're clean, they still have to wear condoms, they don't want you to get pregnant because you can't work that way. Other than that they don't much care what the clients do to you."

"I can't do this Fitz," she shakes her head, she starts trembling and crying once more.

"Yes you can, you have to Clare they'll kill you otherwise. Rely on me I will do everything I can to get you through this but you have to be strong. I know you're strong, I know what kind of inner strength you have, rely on that and me and we'll find a way out of here," I promise her and she nods against my chest as I hear footsteps coming.

"Food, time for her to go to her cell," Wache says.

"No she stays in here, let me talk to Konigin, Cinnamon needs to stay in here so I can train her. Talk to Konigin she'll tell you," I assert as he slides the food under the door.

He looks at me and walks away; I get up and get the food bringing it back to the bed. Tomato soup with plain white bread, I hand a bowl to Clare and she starts eating slowly then Wache returns.

"Konigin says she's your responsibility and you start her training tomorrow. She sleeps in here as long as you both behave but you are in charge of all of her training," Wache says I nod and Clare won't even look at him.

"I'm not hungry," she whispers when Wache walks away.

"I know but try and eat, you need your strength, if you get sick they'll kill you," I tell her. She finishes her dinner and I slide the food back into the hallway. They come and collect the trays and then open the cells so we can shower. "It's time to shower, we all shower together, no one will be looking at you trust me and if you're nervous just stay close to me," I say standing up.

I take off my hoodie, shirt, shorts and boxers, I'm used to being without clothes now and totally naked around others. Clare isn't and has probably not been naked around other people since she was too young to be modest. She bites her lip and looks at me, her cheeks go red and she looks away again.

"It's okay Clare, you'll get used to it, come on we need to shower stay close to me," I say holding my hand out to her.

She takes my hand and stands up; I already saw her naked when they brought her in and I don't even look. Clare squeezes my hand and I start walking her to the showers, the closer we get the less she breathes.

"Take a breath Clare," I remind her and she nods.

We get into the shower and she goes bright red when she sees all the other naked bodies but when no one even glances at her she calms a little. She still keeps hold of my hand and gets under the water with me. When I was first in juvie I used to fantasize about Clare a lot and one of my favorites was the two of us showering together but this is not the way I wanted it to happen. After showering we wrap in towels, give a urine test so they can test from drugs and STIs, they aren't very through but they test for the basics. Then we brush our teeth and return to our cells to go to bed.

"Clothes have to be earned or I would give you mine but they'll punish us both if I do," I explain when we're back in my cell and I'm getting dressed.

Clare nods and gets in the bed, I get in with her and she rolls over clinging to me. I know that I'm the only solace she has in this horrible place; I don't know how safe she actually feels with me. I'm probably more like a teddy bear to her than anything else but I'm finding a comfort in comforting her. For the first time since I woke up chained to the bed after being taken I've found a reason to live and the reason is Clare.

"I'm glad you're here Fitz," she says against my chest, "I mean I'm not glad that you were taken a…"

"It's okay Clare I know what you meant, I feel the same," I reply.

"Fitz what training are we doing tomorrow?" She asks after a few minutes.

"Worry about it tomorrow, try and get some sleep," I tell her.

"I can't, tell me what's going to happen please Fitz or I'll be thinking about it all night and never get any sleep," she says.

"You'll be raped again; they'll have you in different positions. That's probably all that will happen tomorrow but it will be brutal they don't go easy on you so they know you can take almost anything the clients want," I inform her and feel her cringe. I hold her tighter and rub her back.

"What's the worst you've been put through?" She questions but her voice waivers.

"Clare you don't want to hear about that," I argue.

"Fitz please, I'm not going to be able to be strong if I don't know how bad it can get. If you don't tell me I'll be picturing really awful things in my head all night," she contends.

"I've been here a year I've been through a lot. The first couple months are the worst for everyone if you can make it through those then you'll make it. I think the worst was my first rape, the pain was unbearable, there was blood after…" I pause when my voice cracks just remembering that first time and the pain that was so overwhelming it made me ill. "Sometimes they make hardcore movies for people, when I'd been with them a little over a month they took me to make one, I got whipped and paddled on camera it was painful and degrading and that videos still out there somewhere."

"Movies?" Clare squeaks in a frightened voice.

"Don't think about it Clare think about something else. Remember I told you to think of a nice place in your mind?" I question and she nods. "Go there now, tell me about it," I prompt her.

"A big serene river in a green forest, there's a swing in the trees I'm sitting on it swaying in the breeze and listening to the water. Can you be there with me?" Clare asks.

"If you want me to be," I nod.

"I want you to be," she replies and looks up at me, "Mark we have to get out of here we have to get home."

"We will Clare, somehow we will I'll find a way," I assure her. _"I'll get you out of here if it kills me," _I add silently.

**Update Thursday November 20****th**** most likely starting in Adam's pov and including a little of Clare's training while the search for her continues.**


	3. Mind is Safe and Body Tortured

**DeGrassi Saviors Website News: **

***Make sure you check my page for daily clues and pictures. **

***Check the home page for our Soap Opera ending for the TV show, two of which will be turned into a 3 shot. **

***Also check my January calendar writing schedule on my page for the one shots I will be posting during one shot week!**

**Other News:**

**The next few days are going to be pretty crazy, so tonight along with Wednesday and Thursday will all be fairly short chapters. **

**As I said it would probably be a short chapter but at least I'm not as off schedule as I thought I might be.**

**This chapter gets pretty intense in Fitz and Clare's povs so read with caution.**

**Ch. 3 Mind is Safe and Body Tortured**

**(ADAM)**

I watch the sun hit our patio as it rises starting a new day, another day without Clare. She's been missing for over 24 hours now, when it hit the 24 hour mark last night since anyone had heard from her I lost all feeling in my body. I could actually feel a part of me dying as I realized I may never see my best friend again. I sat up all night, I wanted to go out and look for her but my parents and the cops wouldn't let me, they said to wait for morning and I couldn't do anything so late at night. Owen still drove me and Eli around just so that we were doing something; we had to at least try because this sitting here and wondering what had happened and where she could be was driving me slowly insane. Every minute that ticked by and we did nothing stabbed at me with guilt and the pain of wondering what Clare was being put through.

Eventually we were called home by my mom and now we sat in the basement with my brother, Bianca, Alli, Jenna, Dallas and Connor. No one had wanted to go home and we'd all just stayed up all night. Even Owen and Bianca who really hadn't had much interaction with Clare had stayed here and stayed awake. I wondered if we were all thinking the same terrible thoughts and having the same worries or if each of us had different ones. I wondered why this was affecting Drew, Dallas, Owen and Bianca so much? Was it worry for Clare because they did know here even a little or was it something else?

Right now we were all watching the sun, watching the day dawn without Clare. Hoping that even though she wasn't here she was still alive somewhere and there was still a chance no matter how slim that we could find her, find her alive. After a moment of watching the sun we all move at the same time, it's like we all need to move again, need to start looking and doing something because she has to be out there somewhere she just has to be.

"They'll start a search again organized from the school I think," Connor says with tears in his voice.

"We should drive around, split up in different directions, we can pick up Jake and Dave," Dallas comments.

"Drive around where? She could be anywhere they have at least a 24 hour start on us they could be doing anything to her!" Eli hisses angrily, his words spitting out with venom and making Dallas flinch. Eli didn't mean it, he's not angry at Dallas or blaming him for any of this he's just angry and worried and guilty. Dallas knows this and so does Eli because he calms down after a breath and looks at Dallas with regret in his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't mean…I'm just…"

"Yeah I know," Dallas says cutting Eli off, "we're all worried."

"Let's make posters, we can put them up and we should drive out to other cities, Ottawa, Guelph, London, anywhere between here and the border. Even across the border if we have passports, talk to people get the word out, someone somewhere has to know something," Bianca says.

"That's a good idea Bianca," Mom's voice on the stairs makes us jump.

"You can start on the posters now; Glen and Jake are on their way over with breakfast. At eight they're going to hold a press conference at the school, they would like you to speak Adam, and anyone else that is close to Clare," Mom tells us.

"What am I supposed to say?" I question.

"They'll discuss that with you before the conference, I know you have some really good pictures of Clare you can copy them and put them on the posters, if you make a few here I'm sure you can copy them at the school," Mom says.

"Yeah I have a couple in my room, a bunch on my phone," I nod and Dallas grabs his laptop.

I print out two of the best and most recent pictures of Clare, after loading them from my phone to the computer. We paste them on some paper and make a few different posters, all say basically the same thing that Clare is missing and who to contact with information. Jake and Glen show up as we're making the posters and Jake helps us, they have coffee and pastries but no one is real hungry, I sip at coffee and nibble at a bagel. We leave for the school at seven and begin photocopying the posters when Officer Turner comes in with Dave.

"Helen is here but hardly holding herself together so she won't be talking during the press conference. I'll do most of it but I thought it would be good for people to hear from someone who knows her well so I thought Adam should talk and anyone else that wants to is welcome to," Officer Turner tells us.

"What do I say?" I ask him.

"Anything Adam, talk about Clare and what kind of person she is, talk to her and the person or people that have her. The point is to get her story out there and humanize her to whoever has her. We'll allow some questions after we talk but let me answer them," Officer Turner says and I nod.

Eli says he wants to talk and so does Alli; he goes over some talking points with us, mostly things we shouldn't say to her kidnappers. Then we're taken to the auditorium which is packed with reporters from as far away as Ottawa and New York.

"Morning my name is Craig Turner and I'm a first class constable with the Ontario Provincial Police. Clare Edwards, a seventeen year old DeGrassi Community School student went missing over 36 hours ago. My son Dave also attends DeGrassi and is friends with Clare and her disappearance has affected not only her family and friends but the school and entire community. Clare's mother Helen, stepfather Glen and stepbrother Jake are here along with her father Randall," Officer Turner says motioning to Clare's family behind him. Helen is just sobbing while Glen holds her and Jake looks sick from worry, although I doubt I look any better, I know Eli doesn't and neither do Alli and Jenna. Randall looks pale and extremely guilty. "A few of Clare's friends would like to speak and then I'll take questions."

Officer Turner motions to me and I stand up going to the podium. I'm shaking and it's not from stage fright, there's so much emotion in me and I'm trying to push I back but it's not working so well. I clear my throat and look at the reporters; they all have microphones or voice recorders out, leaning in to hear what I have to say.

"My name is Adam Torres and Clare is my best friend. She is a very smart and talented person and an amazing writer. She is one of the kindest and most generous people I know. Clare has been a source of strength and support for me more times than I can count, I would not be the same if she'd never come to my life and her friendship is something I am very grateful for. Clare wherever you are I hope you know how many people love you and how much your absence affects us all. To whoever has Clare please let her go and let her come back to the people that love her."

There's more I want to say but I'm beginning to cry and can't speak so I step away and Officer Turner goes back to the podium. He says a few words and then Alli gets up but she's crying very hard and she barely gets out that she misses Clare and wants her to come home. Eli goes to the podium and looks back at me before talking.

"Clare I miss you and I'm sorry for everything, I hope that you're okay and that whoever has you releases you. We're looking for Clare, all of us and we'll never stop," Eli says and sits down again and Randall gets up with Jake.

Randall has an enlarged picture of Clare with him taken a couple of months ago; he holds it out for the cameras to see. "This is my baby girl Clare Diana Edwards. She is a light in the lives of everyone that know her and we're asking for her safe return. Please if you know anything call the Ontario Provincial Police," Randall begs.

"Clare has shoulder length light brown curls and bright blue eyes and a shy smile. She's sweet and kind, and stubborn really stubborn," Jake says with a smile and I even smile a little. "There isn't anything she wouldn't do for you and we're all very worried, we are praying for her safe return. If you have my sister thanks for taking care of her but please let her come back to her family and friends," Jake says and then he sits down with Randall again.

"I'll take questions now," Officer Turner tells them when he goes back to the podium.

Reporters start shooting off questions and Officer Turner answers the ones related to the case and deflects anything that isn't. He stops questions after about fifteen minutes and calls the press conference to a close.

"Hey I'm going to Ottawa to put up posters with Drew and Bianca do you two want to come?" Owen says when we rejoin the others.

"Yeah," I nod and so does Eli.

"I already cleared it with Mom," Drew tells me putting his arm around my shoulders, "let's go find Clare."

**(FITZ)**

"Breakfast, eat Cinnamon your training starts in an hour and I'll be in with Cross to help train you," Zuchter tells her pushing our breakfast trays under the bars. I let go of Clare and retrieve our breakfast, sitting back on the bed I hand her a tray.

"You need to eat today is going to be one of the hardest you've ever been through," I tell her.

She picks up a piece of toast and begins nibbling it, she eats that and drinks the milk but it's something. The only thing she didn't eat was the applesauce and I eat them both. As soon as she's done eating she curls up to me, her head on my shoulder she puts my arm around her. She's afraid and I'm her only shield and solace in this place.

"I'll stay with you but you'll be put through a lot and I'll be forced to do things to you and you to me," I tell her and she looks up at me, "it's part of your training. I'll make it as easy on you as I can I promise you Clare."

"What's going to happen?" She asks.

"They'll probably start with teaching you to give a blow job on me," I tell her and she pales a little bit. "Just pretend it's a popsicle and it's really hot day, I'll instruct you as you go and do exactly what I say. When I cum swallow it, all of it, it won't taste good but swallow all of it, force it down and don't gag. If you don't do it right or spit some of it out then we'll both be punished," I inform her.

"Why would you get punished?" She asks.

"Because I'm your teacher and if you don't do something right it means I didn't teach your right and we both get punished," I reply.

"I'll do exactly as you say," she says as I hear the heavy boots of Zuchter coming back.

"Just remember that place in your head I told you to go," I whisper to her as he opens the cell door.

"Come," he orders and Clare starts shaking so I stand and help her up. I keep my arm around her as we walk down the hall and it's the first time she's seen any of the other people in their cells. She grips me a little tighter when she does. Zuchter takes us to one of the small rooms used for training, punishment and a number of other things none of which are good. "Get on your knees and blow Cross," Zuchter orders.

"Stay in that place in your head but listen to what I tell you and do everything I say," I whisper to her and then straighten up. "Kneel in front of me and pull down my shorts and boxers. Take my penis and in your hand and gently rub until I'm hard," I tell her and she nods.

This is harder than I thought, not just being the teacher but having to teach Clare to do this. Sweet and gentle Clare, I know she was never as innocent as people thought but she was too innocent for this. I see parts of her breaking away already and how her soul is twisting in this hell. I hope I can find a way to get us out of here before it completely demolishes her and takes everything from her.

Clare does as I say going down on her knees and pulling down my shorts and boxers. She takes my penis and strokes me, I continue giving her instructions, how to suck, lick and caress until I'm entirely hard and ready to cum. I wish this didn't turn me on, I wish I didn't have to put Clare through this and that my first sexual experience with Clare wasn't like this. However this is the situation we are in and I'll make it as easy as I can on her. I shoot into her mouth with a grunt and just before my eye close I see her face twist with the unpleasant taste but I hear her swallow. I open my eyes and see her still on her knees and wiping her mouth.

"Good teach her how to be touched," Zuchter orders and I help Clare stand.

"Lay on the table," I instruct and she does so, I tuck one of her curls behind her ear and lean down to whisper to her. "Go to that place in your head, I'm going to touch you, I'll be gentle and just stay quiet no matter what you feel," I tell her.

She closes her eyes a second and then opens them; I want to be very gentle and caress her skin softly. I want to ease her into it and actually enjoy touching her skin but I can't and if I don't start then Zuchter will and he won't be gentle. So I start with her breasts, massaging them gently and then kissing them. Sucking her nipple and licking around it, I keep doing so until I see Zuchter move getting impatient. I open her legs and get between them, I look up her, I don't want to do this but it has to be done. I look up at her, she bites her lip, her eyes are full of fear but she nods knowing what has to be done. I open her lips and carefully put in one finger, she shifts and gasps slightly, it's uncomfortable for her and I wish it wasn't.

I start with one finger then two, then three and then my whole hand and she whimpers but then bites her lip. Zuchter is either bored or decides Clare needs more because he starts groping her breasts and he's not gentle. This goes on for a while until she's wet and Zuchter knows it, she's not enjoying this but her body responds to the stimulation despite what she wants or how she feels.

"Get on the floor on you hades and knees so you can be fucked," Zuchter orders.

Clare does as he says, getting on the floor and I get behind her to keep Zuchter from doing this. I lean forward a little as I spread her vaginal lips preparing to thrust in.

"Go to that place in your head Clare, go there and stay there. I'm there with you, holding you. I'm sorry that this is going to hurt," I tell her straitening up and thrusting in. I go gentle but fast, she needs to be prepared for pain, it's all she's going to feel until I can get us out of here. It's painful for Clare and she cries out many times, her body clenches and tries to move away but I hold her in place. I hate this, more than anything I've done, raping Clare is blackening my soul and killing me, it's killing her but if I wasn't then Zuchter would be and this would be even more painful for her and she'd be bleeding and bruised at the very least. I grunt pretending to cum but I don't this isn't turning me on I just want this all to be over. "Done and she needs to rest, it's almost lunch," I tell Zuchter.

"Okay take her back to your cell, after lunch we'll continue her first job is in two days and she needs to be ready," Zuchter says.

Clare sits on the floor; she's biting her lip and holding her legs trying not to cry because I told her it was a sign of weakness here. I pick her up and carry her back Zuchter lets us in and Wache is watching us. I get her on the bed and cover her with the blanket, she clings to me sobbing silently against my chest and I hold her tight.

"I'm sorry Clare; I'm really sorry Clare I had to. I won't ask if you're okay because I know you're not and you'll have to go through it all again but I'll be with you. I'll be with you and I'll keep as much pain from you as I can," I tell her and she nods against my chest gripping to me tighter.

**(CLARE)**

"I don't want to do this," I whisper to Fitz.

"I know, I can't go in with you just remember that place in your mind and stay there. Remember what you were taught, be whatever they want. Your body and what you say is whatever the client wants but in your mind go to that place in your mind," Fitz reminds me.

I was taken four days ago and right now we're on the way to my first job. Fitz and I sit in the back of a windowless van, the seats have been taken out and there's just wood back here. That and a bar with handcuffs on it in case people don't cooperate. I'm being taken to a home, a home in a suburban neighborhood to be a sex toy for some man I've never met. He's going to rape me and I'm dressed like a catholic school girl. Plaid skirt that barely covers my ass, knee socks, Mary Jane's, a button up sleeveless white blouse that's tied just under my breasts and my hair in pig tails, I must look like I'm twelve but apparently that's what this guy likes. The closer we get to our destination the more sick I feel.

The last couple of days I've been trained and as terrible as it was I know if Fitz hadn't been the one to do most of it I would have suffered a lot more. After all of it we'd return to his cell and he'd hold me in his bed. He'd hold me while I cried and then hold me after, Fitz is the only reason I was even still alive, if he wasn't here I would never have survived. I was grateful that he was here but not that he was going through this too and had been for so much longer than I had. He was my solace, my one safe place in this hell and the one thing keeping me from ending it all.

The van stops and Vollstrecker takes me out, he tells me Fitz will be in the van. He takes me to the door and a guy in his forties with a beer belly answers it. The man says his name is Logan and brings me inside, Volldtrecker stands guard at the door and I follow Logan back to his bedroom. I begin to shake and then demand myself not to, in my mind I go to that place in my mind, the river in the forest and I'm on a swing, Fitz is pushing me. It's peaceful and calm, I feel safe in this place and content, my physical body might be in hell but my mind is in a place where I'm safe.

"You're name is Cinnamon," Logan says and I nod. "Are you a bad girl Cinnamon?"

Now I know his fantasy, I know what he wants and I know how to play along, "Yes I'm very bad," I reply. I try to sound convincing but I doubt that I do, he doesn't seem to care though he just keeps going.

His fantasy entails me lying over his lap so he can spank me hard. I bite my lip and concentrate on that place in my mind. I can hear the river, feel Fitz pushing me on the swing, the wind through my hair, I can smell the trees. Escaping to this place in my mind and leaving my physical body to be tortured keeps my sanity and keeps me from breaking down because of what's being done to me. After he spanks me so much my butt cheeks burn he wants me to blow him and then I'm done. Logan gives Vollstrecker the money and he takes me back to the van.

"How bad was it?" Fitz asks taking me into his arms as Vollstrecker starts to drive.

"Spanking and a blow job, it was awful I feel dirty and horrible but I'm guessing it can get a lot worse," I reply in a soft voice.

"Yeah it can and I hope you never have to go through it," Fitz says.

We drive back to the prison, which is what I think of it as, the place we're all held with the cells and underground. I try to get my bearings and figure out what direction we're going and what town we're in but I have no idea. When we get back I'm taken to the clinic room, given an exam and a shot of something they still won't tell me what it is and even Fitz doesn't know. Then I'm made to shower and then taken to the cell where Fitz is waiting and so is my lunch.

"I'm not hungry," I shake my head getting in the bed with Fitz.

"I didn't think you would be, you should try and eat a little," he encourages.

"I can't, I don't know how long I can survive this even with you here. Today was terrible, I feel so dirty and dehumanized, I knew what to do but that almost makes it worse. I don't want to get used to this life, I want to get out," I tell him in a very low whisper so no one else hears.

"I know Clare I'm working on it but it's going to take some time just hang in until I can," he says stroking my arm.

"Why do they call you Cross?" I ask him.

"I had a cross necklace when they took me, I was still clutching it when I woke up after being taken," he tells me.

"Can I call you Mark?" I query and he grins.

"Yeah you can call me Mark," he says.

"Will you hold me?" I request and he puts his arms around me. "Mark are we ever going to go home?"

"I'll find a way Clare; I promise you I will find a way to get you home."

**Update Friday December 12****th**** jumping a week or two and probably starting with Adam or Owen pov.**


	4. Gotta Get out of this Life

**Just a few more days left to short story week and then I'll be on break for the holidays. I will however be posting a few Christmas chapters for stories that never got there like I Was at This Party. **

**Sorry for the short chapter but it was an incredibly long day preparing for the holidays and a long day at work.**

**Ch.4 Gotta Get out of this Life**

**(ADAM)**

I wake up panting and sweating, my face wet with tears and my heart racing. Suddenly I notice a figure in my room, cloaked in the darkness and sitting on my bed. Out of instinct I jump back ready to scream and a strong hand grabs my arm.

"Adam it's me you were having a nightmare," my brother's voice gets me to settle and I let out a deep breath. "You were thrashing around and hitting the wall it woke me up. A dream about Clare I assume?"

"Yeah same as always, she's out there Drew I know she's out there I just wish I knew where. We have to find her," I proclaim for at least the millionth time since my female best friend went missing.

"We're looking, everyone is looking and we have been for a month. We won't give up, if Clare's out there we'll find her. You may as well get up it's after four and Owen is picking us up at five to drive to the states so we can put up posters this weekend. We'll find her Adam," Drew assures me putting his arm around my shoulders.

I nod but don't reply, I do get up though. Clare's been missing for a month now, since finding her phone there haven't been any solid leads, there's been a ton of sightings of her or girls that look like her but nothing that's been substantiated. It's like the earth just swallowed her up, but I'm not giving up, I won't ever give up.

We've spent the last three weekends driving around to various parts of Canada and the states to put up posters. Clare's family, my family, Eli's family, the Bhandari's and even the Coyne's put together a fund as reward money and to fund the search for Clare. Local businesses added to it so it's pretty high now. Her parents and Jake have even flown out to B.C. to put up posters there. Prom is in two weeks and if Clare isn't there it just won't feel right. Neither will watching the seniors graduate and I can't even imagine summer without Clare.

I've been having nightmares recently, nightmare's about Clare where she's being swallowed by this dark shadow. Only this shadow has hands and eyes, it swallows her off the street and she's just gone. Except she's not completely gone I can hear her screaming and crying in the darkness. I try to find her, I run through the darkness searching for her and even though I can hear her scream and cry I can't find her.

"Another nightmare Adam?" Mom asks when she sees Drew and I at the table drinking coffee.

"Yeah," I nod.

"You kids all packed?" Dad questions.

"Yeah been packed since we got back last weekend," I reply.

"They're coming more frequently maybe you should talk to someone," Mom suggests.

"I don't need to talk to anyone I need to find my best friend, the nightmares will stop when we find Clare," I assert.

No one says anything after that they just start making breakfast. Drew and I are ready and waiting on the porch when Owen picks us up. He already got Bianca; the four of us are driving up to Kingston and through Vermont and Maine to New Brunswick. Then we'd come back through the north and put posters the whole way. It would be a long weekend but I don't care we need to find Clare.

"I was thinking we should do another news story, get the word out again and make sure it's still on people's minds," Owen comments as he's driving.

"Yeah I'll have Mom arrange it when we get back," I reply.

We stop in Kingston then drive north and cross the border into Vermont. We stop in every town we come to along the highway and when it gets dark we get a couple rooms at a motel. We call Mom and tell her where we are and that we're sleeping here, after checking in at home we go to a nearby diner to get some dinner. Outside the diner are some hookers, I don't really pay attention to them until we're sitting inside the diner. I can see them through the diner window, young girls that can't be much older than Clare.

"Adam what do you want?" Drew says nudging me and I realize the waiter is here to take our order.

"Oh uh a burger, cheeseburger medium well and a cola," I order and the waiter writes it down.

"We'll head out at six tomorrow and hit as many towns as we can," Owen says when the waiter walks away to put in our order.

"Yeah," I nod but I'm still watching the hookers across the street.

"I'm betting you don't want a date with one of those prostitutes so what's on your mind Adam?" Bianca asks.

"Just thinking what if Clare's doing that, or ends up like them? Or what if she's being held in a basement and ch…"

"Adam," Owen says my name sharply to cut me off and I look at him. "You can't think that way, we'll find Clare but you can't think about what she might going through. If you think like that it will destroy you, and you won't be able to find Clare," Owen advises.

"Yeah I know but I can't help it, I know she's out there somewhere but no one's seen her. All the sightings we've had and no one's actually seen Clare. She just vanished," I sigh.

"Yeah just like Fitz," Bianca comments as our drinks are brought to us.

"Fitz?" Drew asks looking at his girlfriend.

"Yeah he left his job and was just gone. We looked at his house, his church, the ravine; everywhere he used to hang out or started after he came back from juvie. He just vanished only we didn't notice until it was too late and we never looked for him not like we are for Clare. We just never tried and I guess no one cared, no one but us," Bianca replies and Owen nods. They both look regretful that they never made an effort to search like we are for Clare.

"Never really thought about Fitz going missing, honestly I didn't really notice," Drew comments.

"No one did, not even me and Bianca, not until he'd been gone a couple of weeks," Owen sighs.

I never thought about Fitz going missing either, honestly I don't think I even really noticed. Fitz was just gone one day it never occurred to me that he was missing. I never thought people were worried about him or how his absence would be affecting his friends. I've been going out of my mind for a month looking for Clare and Fitz has been gone for over a year. If Fitz was taken and just vanished with hardly anyone noticing then how many other kids does it happen to every year? Month? Day?

**(FITZ)**

I was in my cell waiting for Clare to return, I couldn't go with her tonight because I had my own job. I'd only been back for about ten minutes, I was eating and hoping Clare would be back soon. She was more trusted now and they put her on house duty more, which meant instead of being sold for sex she answered phones or did laundry or something. Tonight though she'd been taken a job, one that required her to wear a slutty nurse outfit which meant the guy had a fantasy and was paying extra. Because Clare learned so fast they liked her and they allowed us to share one cell and one bed. I'm pretty sure it's the only thing that keep Clare going, or I guess I should say I'm the only thing that keeps her going in this hell hole. We spent as much time in our cell and together as we could, mostly we just sat in bed and held each other, going into that place in our minds where we were free and happy.

I finished dinner and Clare still wasn't back, I tried to find out what was taking so long but they wouldn't tell me anything. To keep myself occupied I read my book, a book I've read three times already but they haven't given us anything new. My job only took an hour which is normal but Clare has been gone over three hours. Finally I hear the main door open and go to the cell door hanging on the bars and looking for Clare, she's not in costume and she's not walking. She's wrapped in a blanket and being carried by Wache.

"What the hell happened? What's wrong with her?" I growl but with a worried tone.

"Guy had a violent streak, she's your responsibility, if she's not working again in two days then she's gone," Wache informs me while opening the door.

He sets her on the bed and leaves; I rush over pull back the blanket to look at her. She's sobbing and groaning slightly, her face is covered by her hair so I brush it back.

"Fuck Clare," I breathe out when I see her. Violent customers are not uncommon, it's not like the trafficking ring really cares about us and it's not like we can complain to anyone. Usually beaten merchandise is just killed only the really good ones are allowed to heal a little and go back to work again. "Hey I need water and rags and some ice," I call out in the hallway.

I go back to Clare and pull down the blanket more, she's mostly bruised on her face but she has a few on her arms. I'm sure she's got more but I don't have time to look right now since Wache comes in with a bucket of water and some rags. There's a cup of ice too but no bags so I'll to put it in rags. Wache locks the cell again and I open the blanket to look at Clare, carefully helping her out of her nurse's costume. I'm not too worried about the few bruises on her legs and arms but she has a cut from something on one arm, a couple really bad bruises on her abdomen, a black eye and a busted lip.

"Mark," Clare cries.

"It's okay I'm here, you're safe now," I assure her taking a rag and dipping it in the water and cleaning the blood from her lip.

"I did everything he wanted, everything…" she sobs.

"I know it's not your fault Clare, I'll take care of you just rest," I tell her.

She reaches for my hand and I take hers while I continue cleaning the blood from her face. I clean her lip, then the blood from her arm and then putting ice in a rag I sit with her head in my lap and put the ice on her black eye. I leave it there a few minutes and then move it to her lip.

"Mark my side hurts and it's hard to breathe," she says and whimpers in pain when she tries to move.

"You probably broke a rib, hang on hold this to your lip I'll be right back. I promise you I'll be right back I just need more supplies," I assure Clare kissing her forehead. She takes the ice pack and holds it; I slowly get up and move her head from my lap. I get up and go back to the cell door, rattling it and calling out. "HEY I NEED MORE SUPPLIES SHE BROKE A RIB!"

"That not my problem," Konigin tells me when she comes out of her office. "Make her better or she goes," Konigin says.

"I can't make her better without more supplies, let me go to the medical closet I need medical tape. You want to keep Clare she's one of the good ones, she makes you a lot of money but she can't do that if I don't take care of her," I remind the ring leader of this sick fucking ring.

Konigin takes out her keys and lets me out she doesn't even lock the cell door again since Clare can barely move. I'm so trusted she doesn't even escort me to the doctor's office and the medical closet. I grab some medical tape and pain reliever; I also grab some of the rohypnol that they use to drug us at the beginning. I don't plan on drugging Clare but I might need it, I need to get us out of here, we've built up their trust and I need to get us out of here.

I return to the cell, I don't close the door but I know it will be closed for us soon. I sit on the bed and tape up Clare's rib where she says it hurts. I give her the pain reliever and she soon falls asleep, I hold her close and start thinking about how to get us out of here. I've been here over a year, I will not let Clare be here that long, she's been here two months and that's two months to long. There's no way we can run from a job and I'll have to wait for a perfect opportunity because we can't just walk out.

Clare wakes up after she moves in her sleep and the pain wakes her up. I give her some water and she slowly rolls on her side holding me more. I stroke her back gently, she's sobbing quietly and I know it will stop in a few minutes.

"Mark I can't do this anymore, I can't. I don't want to live anymore, not like this," Clare cries.

"I know, I'm going to get us out of here I promise you I will get us out of here whatever it takes," I promise her.

"I've been hit by customers before but not like this, I was told I just had to be a naughty nurse but he just beat me and anally raped me. Everything hurts, I want to die I can't do this anymore, just kill me, it's not worth it just kill me," she pleads and my heart breaks.

"No I won't do that Clare we're getting out of here just rest and get better," I assure her and she shakes her head. "Go to our place Clare, in your mind go to our place. You're on the swing and I'm pushing you, the wind is blowing softly through the trees, the river is softly bubbling and it's peaceful and it's just us, no one else is there it's just us," I whisper to her and she falls asleep again.

I fall asleep soon after and spend all the next day getting Clare to rest and heal. Her bruises were healing and I was making her stay real still so her rib could heal. By the second day Clare's feeling better and they put her on answering the phones. I want to stay with her but I'm sent on a job, I'm not alone either there's two girls with me so it's a group job.

"Cross up front you're not merchandise on this one, I need a second person," Vollstrecker informs me.

I sit in the front of the van, needing a second person means he needs more security. Vollstrecker drives to a house and I look at the streets, we go to a house in Laval, a two story white house that sounds like a party is going on. I get out with Vollstrecker and we take the girls inside, there's about ten guys here, a few of them take the girls back to the bedrooms.

"Cross go out to the van I have a kit in the glove box bring it to me," Vollstrecker orders.

I nod and go out to the van, I can hear the girls in the rooms being abused and raped. I hate it but there's not much I can do about it, nothing I can do about it actually, now without getting myself killed and then Clare will die or try and kill herself. I can't let that happen, I can't save all the people those fuckers kidnapped and forced into this life but I can save me and Clare and I have to concentrate on that. I do feel bad for the girls, they've only been here a couple of weeks and this is a way to break them.

I go out to the van and open the glove box, I see the kit it's for testing drugs because human trafficking isn't enough the ring also sells drugs. That's not all I see though, there's a gun, an actual gun and I see a way out. Not now and not right here because Clare needs to be with me. I check the gun and it's loaded so now we have a way and we just need an opportunity. I take the kit in Vollstrecker then stand near the rooms where the girls are while he buys drugs from these people. Next time Clare is sent on a job I'll make sure I go with her and I'll kill to get us out of this life.

**The next update is Monday and that will be the last posting for short story month and very possibly the last chapter to this story. **


	5. Life is Hard for Me to Touch Now

**Tonight is the last chapter for short story month and I won't be posting every day. I will put up as many Christmas chapters as I can between December 23****rd**** and January 4****th****. After that is one shot week! Be sure to check the DeGrassi Saviors website to see the full schedule.**

**Last chapter hope you all enjoy it.**

**Ch. 5 Life is Hard for Me to Touch Now**

**(CLARE)**

"Cinnamon put this on you have a job," Zuchter demands handing me an outfit through the cell doors.

"I'm coming too I don't have a job tonight," Fitz states.

Since I've been here, been over three months now, Fitz has done everything he can to move himself up in the ranks. I know it's meant a lot of difficult choices for him, protecting me at the cost of others, including himself sometimes. He's had to help beat and train and even dispose of other merchandise to gain their trust. He told me he never killed anyone just drove or helped dumped a body. I can see the effect that it's had on him, the last three months have probably been harder on him than the year he spent he here alone. Harder because he has hope now and something to fight for, instead of giving in and waiting to die he was sacrificing parts of himself to save me.

"Fine get her dressed Cross, she does behave better when you come," Zuchter replies as I take the outfit. After being beaten and recovering I earned the privilege of my own clothes, shorts and a tank top without undergarments but at least I'm covered.

Zuchter starts talking to Wache in German while Fitz helps me dress. I've begun to pick out words and phrases when they talk, I can't fully understand but sometimes I get a sense of what they're talking about.

The outfit I'm wearing this evening is a small black dress, it almost looks like a maid's uniform, only it's sleeveless but there's a black collar trimmed in lace, and when I see there's a little white apron for me to wear it looks even more like a maids uniforms. It includes ridiculous heels but I don't usually do much walking.

"She's dressed I'll take her to the van," Fitz tells them helping me to stand. Zuchter gives him the keys and we start walking out to the van. Fitz usually rides in back with me but sometimes he rides up front. "I think it's just us and Zuchter tonight, if so be ready to run," Fitz tells me as he puts me in the back of the van.

After being beaten so badly a month ago I've mostly done groups which meant more guards taking us. Sometimes Fitz and I were both merchandise, others it was me and other girls. Fitz has been sent on a lot of jobs this last month too; he did all he could to keep me from having to face a job alone while I was healing from the beating. We moved again, a couple of weeks ago we moved to outside of Quebec City, we moved during the night and now we're in some underground bunker of some kind. One of the girls that's been here a while was killed before we moved, another boy was beaten so bad on a job he died from his injuries, it was just a couple of days ago. If I hadn't had Fitz I'm sure I would have died or been killed after my beating.

"But how will we…" I start to ask and Fitz cuts me off.

"Don't worry about it, Zuchter's coming tuck your legs behind you and take your shoes off so that he can't see," Fitz instructs then closes the back doors and goes around to the passenger seat tossing the keys to Zuchter. Fitz gets in and I see him quickly opening the glove box before Zuchter gets to the van.

We drive in silence, since the compound is so far from town it's always a long drive. The drives are always peaceful and terrifying all at once. I'm trying not to think about what I'll be forced to do tonight, if I think about it I'll be shaking with fright and disgust by the time we arrive.

I have my shoes off, I unbuckled them and slipped them off as soon as we started driving. I don't know what Fitz's plan is but he must have one or he wouldn't have told me to be ready to run. For a few minutes I watch him in the front seat, waiting for…well I don't know what really but something. When Fitz hardly moves at all for several minutes I look out the window, watching the passing sky and tree tops passing. I'm just sort of spacing out on the passing scenery and then suddenly there's a very loud, nearly deafening BANG! The van begins to swerve and I think we blew a tire, I grip the bar bolted to the side of the van and then I see blood all over the windshield. I start screaming and I can't stop, Fitz gains control of the van and stops it but I can't stop screaming.

"CLARE," Fitz yells opening the back of the van. He crawls in holding my face and I finally stop screaming. "I killed him but we need to run, we have two hours at best and we need to get to a police station," Fitz says in a firm but caring voice.

I nod and follow him out of the van, my eyes brimming with tears, not because Zuchter is dead, he deserved to die as far I'm concerned. My eyes fill with saltwater because I can't believe we're actually running, my eyes fill with tears of joy, fear and even pain. We run near the road, my bare feet are calloused anyway so I hardly even feel the dirt and gravel under my feet. We run near the road but in the trees, afraid of being seen or even picked up by someone else from the ring, anyone else really. I don't know how long we run but finally Fitz sees a police car and flags them down.

"You kids in some kind of trouble?" The officer asks.

"We were kidnapped; we need to get a police station. Please we're not safe here," Fitz practically begs the cop. I'm holding tight to his hand, I haven't let go of it since getting out of the van.

"Get in the car," the officer tells us and Fitz opens the front door. We slide in and the officer starts driving again. "I'm Officer Gale, you do look familiar what's your name?" He asks me.

"Clare Edwards I was taken on A…"

"Clare Edwards," Officer Gale interrupts me, "yeah I saw your picture on the news and we got posters and an amber alert for you. People have been looking for you for a while, what about you son?"

"Mark Fitzgerald," Fitz replies.

"He was taken over a year ago," I inform the officer as I squeeze Fitz's hand.

I'm shaking slightly and I don't know why. I'm relieved and happy to be away from the compound but it's not an overwhelming feeling. It's sort of under a bunch of other emotions. Maybe I've felt nothing but sorrow, pain, fear and hopelessness for so long that I don't remember how to feel happy.

"We're almost at the station just hang tight, you kids are safe now," he says.

I almost laugh at the word safe, is there really any such thing as safe? I don't necessarily feel safe, not 100% anyway, I feel safer now that I'm not being sold for sex but I don't feel entirely safe. Better, safer but not completely safe, there's still a feeling that Wache or Vollstrecker will show up and take us back. Like they're lurking just out of visual range or that this is all a hopeful dream and I'm in bed with Fitz in our cell, I'll wake up and we won't haven't really escaped but I'm just losing my mind.

He parks at the station and we follow him inside, Fitz is dressed in sweat shorts and an undershirt, he's at least dressed but I have no shoes and just my costume for the night. Everyone in the room looks over at us and I hide behind Fitz.

"Lieutenant this is Clare Edwards," Officer Gale calls over and a man in his forties with greying hair and a stout build comes over.

"I'm Lieutenant Leclerc don't worry kids we'll get you home. Kristi call O.P.P. and let them we have Clare Edwards and…"

"Mark Fitzgerald," Fitz says.

"Tell them they're here and notify the families, come with me kids," the lieutenant says and we follow him into his office. "I know you've probably been through a lot but can you tell me what happened? Can you tell me where you've been since you've been taken?" He asks turning on a video camera.

"We were kidnapped by a human trafficking ring, I know almost everything. I can take you to where they are now, there's 12 other kids being held there but we have to go now, if they figure out we're gone they'll pack and move. They might kill all the other kids," Fitz tells him with urgency in his voice, and a harsh, angry determined edge.

"No no no we can't go back there they won't let us leave, I won't go back," I shake my head, my heart racing with terror at the thought of being anywhere near that place.

"You stay here I'll show them where it is," Fitz says and I shake my head vigorously.

"No don't leave me, not they'll take you a…"

"I'll be back Clare I promise, I'll be back but I can't let the others be killed or moved I have to try," Fitz tells me cupping my face tenderly but with the same determined edge to his voice.

"We'll keep him safe don't worry. Stay right here I need to make some calls, Clare I'm going to have you taken to the hospital and Mark you'll come with us," Lieutenant Leclerc says and leaves his office.

"You have to come back; I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't be alive, Mark you have to come back," I plead with him semi-hysterically.

"I promise you I'll come back, I have to do this Clare, I have to try or I won't be able to live with myself. I got us out at a great cost; I killed a man today to save us. As soon as they know Zuchter's dead and we're on the run they'll move, they'll take the others or kill them you know it," Fitz comments and I nod.

"You're coming home with me, you promised," I remind him just as the lieutenant comes back in.

"Clare this is Officer Renee Maldonado she'll take you to the hospital. Mark ERU is mobilizing you'll come with us, just show us where and give us as much information as you can," Lieutenant Leclerc tells us and I see a female officer behind him.

"I'm going home with you Clare, I'll see you in a bit," Fitz says squeezing my hand and I get up leaving with the female officer.

I get in the car to go to the hospital and break down, all the tears I was holding in break free and I sob. I sob for over three months of being hold captive and sold for sex, I sob for all that time away from my family, my life and for losing so much of myself. I sob for everything Fitz went through and everything he did so we could break free. I sob because I'm finally free and I can cry without punishment or retribution. I cry for the mere reason that I can.

**(ADAM)**

We get back to our motel room and I fall on the bed, Drew is talking about dinner but I'm not hungry. We're in Edmundston, New Brunswick tonight we drove up along the East Coast of the states; we've basically been on the road since school let out in June. I didn't go to prom, didn't enjoy Bianca's graduation and none of us did any of our summer plans because we've been looking for Clare. We're running out time, school starts again in a couple of weeks, even the official search has been called off. Not that they stopped looking but they don't send out search parties anymore. Leads have mostly dried up, the news isn't interested anymore and Clare's disappearance has left most people's minds but not ours.

Drew, Owen, Bianca and I had spent so much time on the road together and in motel rooms we didn't even remember what our beds were like. Eli could have come with us but he chose to go with Jake and their parents. Alli, Jenna, Connor and Dave have also been looking this summer, they're driving west through Canada. Even Maya and Tris said they'd look in Paris, although I doubt Clare is there.

I hear my phone ring in my pocket and expect it to be Mom and Dad checking in. When I look at it however I see that it's Jake.

"Hey Jake any news?"

"Yeah the news Clare's alive she's okay…well she's alive anyway. She and Fitz are at a hospital in Quebec City. My dad and Helen are trying to arrange a flight right now but we probably won't get there until tomorrow morning. You guys can go though we told them you were like family and you can stay with them, I have all the info," Jake tells me my stomach rises, my heart pounding with joy.

We've been looking for Clare for so long I can hardly believe I'm hearing the words. Clare's not missing anymore, she's alive and she's with Fitz! I'm in such a state of blissful shock I can't even breathe let alone speak.

"Adam? Did you hear me?" Jake asks.

"Yeah I heard you give me the information we'll leave now," I reply after mentally slapping myself to talk. I write down what Jake says and tell him I'll call them when we get there.

"What's up?" Drew asks when I hang up.

"Clare is in a hospital in Quebec City and she's with Fitz, they're alive! They're both alive!" I practically giggle I'm so gleeful at this thought. "I have the information, Helen and the others probably won't get a flight until morning but we can go now. We need to leave now, right now they're alive we need to go see them."

"Fitz? Fitz is with her? They're together? He's okay too?" Bianca sort of babbles in disbelief but I understand why.

"Well let's go," Owen says grabbing his bag and practically running for the door. The excitement is just as evident in his eyes as the doubt that Fitz is okay too.

We grab our bags and tell the front desk we're checking out; since we just checked in they don't charge us. We get back in Owen's SUV and he starts driving. A three hour drive has never felt more like an eternity. I feel like we're going so slow, like every mile takes an hour and each passing minute drags by. I know what Jake said but I need to see for my own two eyes that it's Clare. Hearing she's alive and seeing it, knowing it, being able to hug her are entirely different.

When the hospital finally comes into view we let out this collective breath, one we've all probably been holding for the entire drive. Owen parks and we run in as fast as we can, a large male nurse stopping us before we reach the elevator. We tell him who we are and that we're there to see Clare and Fitz. The nurse tells us how to get to their room, the closer we get the room the more nervous I get, worried that it won't be Clare or that she won't want to see me, just nervous in general. There's a police officer outside the room, he's sitting in a chair and looks up at us when we approach.

"You must be Adam, Drew, Bianca and Owen," the officer comments and we nod. "I'd like to take your word but they're under protection so I'll need to see some I.D.," the officer tells us and we show him our I.D.'s and he lets us in.

Clare and Fitz are both in hospital gowns, and in one bed, he's holding her and she seems to be asleep. Fitz sees us and smiles gently shaking Clare.

"Clare Adam's here," he tells her and she opens her eyes.

"Adam?" She asks rubbing her eyes but not from sleep, like she can't believe I'm really here.

"Yeah it's me, I can't believe it's you we've been looking for you for so long," I smile going over as she sits up on the bed.

We look at each other for a second and then we embrace tightly. Clare starts crying, I'm crying, tears of joy and relief. Drew stands close to us while Bianca and Owen go around and greet Fitz.

"Fuck man we thought you were dead, where the hell have you been? You have no idea how good it is to see you," Owen says before shaking his hand.

"You fucker don't ever disappear like that again," Bianca admonishes but with tears in her eyes as she hugs Fitz.

"Didn't mean to, didn't think anyone was looking for me though," Fitz admits.

"Yeah well we were, thank goodness you're both alive," Bianca smiles.

When I finally let go of Clare Drew hugs her, a much quicker hug than mine of course. I want to ask Clare what happened and where she's been this whole time but I don't think now is the time. I sit in a chair next to the bed and tell her about the search and that her family will catch the next flight that they can. Fitz tells us that they're being kept overnight in the hospital for observation. We stay for a couple of hours, I could have stayed all night but Clare and Fitz fall asleep so we leave to let them rest. Finding the closest hotel to the hospital we get two rooms and go up to get some rest. My brother and Bianca share one room, Owen and I the other and he decides to shower as soon as we're in. I lie on the bed and turn on the TV, a sense of relaxation and relief coming over me that I haven't felt in months. I flip channels until I see Clare and Fitz's pictures on the news and I stop turning up the volume.

…"_Clare Edwards and Mark Fitzgerald were instrumental in the capture of five people involved in human trafficking. The two teens were both victims of the ring. Clare was kidnapped from the streets of Toronto back in April and Mark was taken from Ottawa over a year ago. The heads of the ring are on Interpol's most wanted list for numerous crimes. I'm joined by Lieutenant Leclerc who with ERU led a raid on the rings compound about 45 minutes outside the city. Lieutenant I understand it was Fitz who led you to the compound?"_

I turn down the volume again and just stare at the TV; I knew it wouldn't be good but human trafficking?! My sweet, stubborn, smart and sassy best friend has been used as a sex slave! I feel sick, my stomach churns as my thoughts race about what happened to them while they were held. It boils up and I rush out of the room, barely making it to the trashcan by the elevator before I vomit.

**(FITZ)**

I watch the wind blow the leafless branches of the tree outside the window and the snow fall drifting down. The sun is barely peaking over the horizon; it gives a warm orange glow to the sky and the snow. I woke up about an hour ago when I heard noises in the house, it's a paranoid habit. Clare stirs in my arms, she's starting to wake up I can feel her breathing becoming lighter and less steady as she comes into consciousness.

It's been four months since we escaped, four months since I killed a guy so that we could. We've been free and back home now for as long as Clare was a captive with me. Her reunion with her family at the hospital the morning after we escaped was bitter sweet. She was of course happy to see her parents and Jake, even Eli but she was changed. She was not the girl that left her house to go to a restaurant that day in April; parts of her, lots of parts of her had died away in captivity and forced sex slavery. Her mother cried more than Clare did and would hardly let go of her but Clare would barely let go of me. She hasn't since. I moved into Clare's room in her house because Clare didn't give her mom a choice. We're not being held in a cell anymore but we're not the same, all we've had is each other for four months and we can't let go of each other, we won't.

We're not dating, it's not necessarily a romantic relationship, it's not sexual at all. No it's deeper than that, something that no one else could understand. When all you have in the world is one other person, a person to keep you going and remind you that there's something to live for, one person as the only source of solace in a tormenting world. A person to give you faith again, a reason to fight, someone you would do anything for including kill. It goes deeper than romance and sex, deeper than love even.

Clare started her senior year in September, it wasn't easy for her. It wasn't easy for either of us to go back into the world; you want to think that you'll just jump back into life. You can't though, you aren't the same, neither are the people around you. After what we saw, what we went through, life just isn't the same but we've had lots of support. Adam, Drew and Clare's other friends helped her adjust to school and catch up, not that it was too hard for her to catch up. She took her exams for grade 11 in October and passed them so they passed her, not that I had any doubts. While Clare went back to school I got my job back at The Dot. Clare always came at lunch and I made sure my shifts were only during her school hours.

We were healing, in some ways faster than others but we were healing. There was a long way to go, a lot of healing to do, years of therapy and trying to find normal again. We both knew it but we were on that road. The people that held us were being tried by Interpol for a multitude of crimes. Thanks to me and Clare we busted them all and saved the other kids being held with us. The police and ERU found connections to other human trafficking rings in 5 other countries including the states and Germany. They weren't able to make any arrests for any other rings though, I'm sure as soon as our ring was busted the other's disbanded or fled. Still we'd stopped ours and when the trial starts in summer Clare and I will both testify. I hope they all get fried.

I wasn't charged for killing Zuchter, it was ruled as self-defense and while I'm not sorry he died, while I know he deserved it and much more, I still have to live with knowing I took a life. I did it so we could be free, so we could escape. I did it for Clare and I'd do it again.

"Morning," Clare yawns.

"Merry Christmas," I smile.

"Merry Christmas, what time is it?" Clare asks sitting up.

"A little before eight," I reply sitting up as well.

I pull on jeans, a t-shirt and socks. The house is warmed by the heater and I always sleep in boxers, Clare doesn't mind after all she spent two months being naked with me all day every day. I'd think she wouldn't like sleeping in my arms still, against my skin, and that it would remind her of being in our prison. It doesn't though, she tells me it's comfortable, and safe and it's the only way she can sleep now. She always sleeps in my t-shirt and pajama bottoms.

We go downstairs, the Christmas tree is lit and Helen is making pancakes. Glen is helping her and coffee is brewing. We say Merry Christmas to Clare's parents and get some coffee. Jake comes down the stairs yawning as soon as the smell of pancakes goes through the house. Jake works with his dad and lives at home still, he was going to go to Vancouver but after Clare went missing and came back he changed his plans.

"We'll open presents after breakfast and then you two can go to Adam's just be back for Christmas dinner," Helen tells us as we sit down to eat.

"We will Mom," Clare nods.

We eat and talk about New Year's mostly and some other small talk. Then we open presents, there are several since Clare's grandparents sent some, even some for me. I haven't seen or heard from my own family since being back but I have Owen, Bianca and Clare's family. I've also become close to Adam and Drew in the last few months. Last night we went to Clare's dad's house for a Christmas Eve celebration. After that we joined Helen, Glen and Jake for midnight mass. Both Clare and I began attending church again about a month after coming home.

"Merry Christmas," Bianca grins kissing my cheek and then Clare's when we walk into the Torres basement. "You're under the mistletoe," Bianca says explaining the kisses and Clare smiles. Bianca goes to Wilfrid Laurier but she's home every weekend.

"Merry Christmas but I ain't kissing ya," Owen grins hugging us both. Owen goes to Brock University in Niagara Falls and comes home at least twice a month.

Drew of course repeated his senior year and is student council president; he comes over and hugs us. Adam is Vice President, he hugs us too and we sit on the sofa. Dallas is sports rep but he went to Guelph for the holidays so he isn't here. Eli is going to NYU, he and Clare are...well friends may not be accurate but they're talking again. Once every few weeks they exchange check in e-mails but Eli hasn't been home. He still partly blames himself for Clare's kidnapping.

"We have presents for you guys, Eli sent some too," Adam says pointing to the presents near the fireplace.

"Oh Mark we left the presents in the car," Clare says.

"I'll get them," I reply getting up and getting the keys out of my pocket.

"I'll help," Owen comments following me out. "Has Clare talked about summer yet? Or university?" Owen questions when we're outside.

"She'll probably go to U of T, I know she wants to stay close to home," I reply unlocking the trunk and getting out the bags with the presents.

"Yeah I don't blame her. I heard Omar saying some of the talk shows and stuff were trying to interview again," Owen remarks.

"Yeah, they've been calling but we have a gag order until the trial is over and it doesn't start until June. They want us to tell our heroic story. I don't feel like a hero, never did just did what I had to do to keep Clare alive and get us the hell out of there. I don't think we're ready to talk about it like that anyway. We can barely talk about it with anyone, even each other," I reply. We haven't started walking back to the house yet but I close the trunk and begin walking.

"You think you'll ever be?" Owen queries.

I open the sliding glass door and look at Clare laughing with Adam and I smile, "Yeah I think we're getting there."

**So that does it not only for this story but short story month. This story will be replaced by When I Knew You & Me Would Never Be.**

**I won't be posting every day but will get up as many Christmas chapters as I can. Also be sure to check out the DeGrassi Saviors site for Christmas pics, I'll try to get a new one up every day, no promises though.**


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